Dealing with the Stress…
A divorce is one of the most stressful times of your life. It has been compared to the stress a loved one suffers when there is a death of a loved one. I guess that analogy makes sense since it is really the death of a marriage. You have to come to terms with this quickly, as who ever filed for divorce already has. I now realize that it took me a long time to come to terms with my own divorce – as I am sure it did for a lot of others, as we are only human.
Take a Deep Breath…
She doesn’t want to live with you and you can’t force her to. Although you know it, the rest of your body doesn’t. You feel like something was pulled out of you and you weren’t ready for it. You don’t have closure and someone you lived with for years is no longer there. You feel lost, betrayed, and in some cases like your best friend is gone.
The way I dealt with this, was that I would take long walks along the boardwalk and on the beach just to clear my head. I would walk for hours in the warm sun and try to relax. Most of my issues were because of my own worry and fears of not knowing what will happen next. A person’s fear is always worse when they are afraid of the unknown. What will happen to my children, how will they cope without me if they need me? Will my children feel like they were abandoned by me? Where will I live? What will I do when this is finally over? Will I always be alone?
I can tell you now everyone will be ok. We all learn to deal with situations we are forced into. The best way though this is to pull that band- aid off quickly and all at once in order to start to heal the wounds. I found that it’s in your and everyone else’s best interest to deal with yourself first. You can’t help anyone else if you can’t help yourself. Yoga, gym, meditation or even a walk will help you deal with the stress and clear your mind. When you workout those unwanted and sometime irrational emotions it will help you be able to think clearer. Thinking clearly and calmly will be your biggest asset when it comes to making decisions through this entire emotional roller-coaster.
In order to keep collateral damage to a minimum, try to always stay calm and even-tempered. As more issues arise anger will only cloud your vision and turn everything into a bigger problem. Help yourself by thinking clearly and rationally, be the Zen master and do your best to move forward and finalize a solution.