Using the Court as a Sword and not a Shield

The tensions between you and your soon to be ex-spouse are very high and it will only take a small spark to light the fireworks while you are in the middle of the divorce process.

Couples going through divorce are enraged, hurt, scared, they want to put each other through the ringer, and at times will use the court as a sword and not a shield.

Her lawyers will do anything possible to discredit you so don’t let them.  They will exaggerate the truth and use aggressive tactics and may even go as far as trying to get you thrown in jail for contempt of court.

Another standard tactic they may try is requesting that the Judge issue an order of protection against you. If you don’t obey that order of protection they will then try to put you in jail for violating the order.  These strategies utilized by her lawyers will make the woman appear as the victim in the Court’s eyes – even if this isn’t true.

This is done in may other ways so that the legal system can just make sure the man loses even more then he bargained for. Although I was threatened, thankfully I never had the pleasure of having an order of protection issue against me.  Nor did I ever fall for those games in my many years of fighting in divorce court.

My ex wife was purely motivated by money and didn’t care about anything else but her selfishness in life.  She used our child as if he was her golden nugget for as long as she could.

I knew that fighting her on most of the issues wouldn’t change much at the end of the day.  The whole process was about money and always will be.  It was a job to go through it and it will be a job for anyone that does it.

As I experienced the divorce process, I have seen and heard a lot of stories about how women and their lawyers play the game.  I witnessed a lawyer get a husband so upset that he ended up saying to her lawyer “you think you are so hot, I know where you live”. The lawyer reacted by reporting this to the Judge as a threat and had the man arrested for threatening him with the ex-wife as the witness to what her ex-husband said.  He was put in handcuffs and taken away to spend the night in jail.  When the lawyer walked out of the courtroom, he shrugged, smiled and said, “Everyone knows where I live”.  But in the end he did his job, he discredited the ex-husband who had no legal representation by getting him upset enough to say something without thinking. The ex-wife’s lawyer got what he wanted and so did the judge who didn’t want a man in his courtroom without a lawyer.

I have also heard a story where a woman called the police, or, as people like to say POPO. The woman reported to the police that her husband had threatened her and her kids. The poor guy was sleeping and gets waken up.  The police in our county are very accustomed to these types of calls and they usually don’t arrest anyone anymore unless it’s a must.  They will however, have the man removed from the premises usually by coming into the house most likely it’s late at night.  In this case they woke him up and give him basically a couple of minutes to gather a few things and leave.  The report then issued by the police and the judge presiding over your divorce has to figure out how to deal with it.  This tactic, will give your ex-wife control over the martial house and you are forced to find a place to live.  Not only, will you be forced out of your home, the judge has you pay the mortgage, bills and other expenses. As a result the ex-wife ends up claiming the property if it’s owned (not rented) and you are forced to figure out where to live until this case is over.

When I separated I didn’t look back on the living arrangements nor the items or anything else that was left in the marital property.  I knew I wasn’t coming back for anything other then what I left with. Even though that was the case they had no issues finding other things to keep our fight going – there is always something that can be a fight if you let it be a fight.


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