One Woman, One Divorce, Three Lawyers

Divorce can make even the most rational person act irrational. You may go into your divorce thinking that you and your spouse can keep things reasonable and amicable. It might only take a few days, weeks or months to realize this may not happen. Don’t be shocked if you have to deal with some “unreasonable behavior” from your spouse, this is a divorce after all.

Typically when soon to be ex-spouses become unreasonable with each other, divorce attorneys must step in to play referee.  Each side will typically rely on their attorney to represent their side through out their divorce but in my case, my soon to be ex wife had changed attorney’s three times until I decided it was time to settle this case.

It isn’t a secret that a woman who is acting unreasonable will resort to anything when she feels things aren’t going her way, even firing her lawyer several times.  In the end all this did was prolong a case and increase the attorney’s billable hours.

As I discussed in my previous blog, Three Judges: The Bad, The Fair and The Biased during our divorce process I never expected that during our divorce we would not only go through three different judges but she would also go through three different lawyers.  This is how the system not only forces a long divorce process but can also drive you to make irrational decisions without thinking about how it may impact the end result.

If you decide to hire a divorce attorney to represent your interests and stand by you during this difficult ordeal, choosing the right one for you will likely be one of the most important decisions you make during this process. After being served with divorce papers and realized that this marriage was truly over I spent time getting recommendations from people who had gone through divorce and interviewing several attorneys until I found one that I could trust to represent my interests.   My soon to be ex-wife apparently did not realize how important hiring the right attorney was and as a result changed lawyers several times during the court process which not discredited her side by prolonged the entire process only costing everyone more money in the end.

Lawyer One – The Hot Shot 

The first lawyer she hired was only out for himself and his pocket. He would only show interest representing her side of things if they benefitted his bottom line.  This lawyer suffered from an inflated ego. He was on very good terms with the first judge that was assigned to preside over our divorce and used that relationship with the judge to his advantage, but when that judge was removed and forced into retirement things started to turn for him.  The new judge was not biased towards his side and was not aligned with his interests, so when the going got tough, he got going.

Lawyer Two – The Newbie

Then came lawyer number two from a larger law firm.  She was supposed to be a new superstar in representing woman in divorce but in reality was just a young naïve lawyer, who really didn’t understand how the law worked outside the classroom.  In an attempt to get her point across she would tend to get stuck focusing on one thing by asking repetitive questions each time repeating the question louder.  During our divorce process, she even made me go through a 7 hour deposition which in the beginning I enjoyed going round for round with her until I got tired of it and said you keep asking me the same repetitive question in different ways, do you have any other questions or are you here to continue to waste everyone’s.  This lawyer continued to show her inexperience throughout the case, and it finally reached a point that the second judge presiding over our case looked at and asked her “Are you really going to continue to do this at trial?”  As this continued, and this lawyer continued to waste time, valuable resources and run up billable hours everyone including the law firm that employed her lost patience and as a result her employment was terminated and she was replaced.

Lawyer Three  – The Intimidator 

The third lawyer was a little more seasoned and utilized her own strategies in order to attempt to get her point across. Each time she had a question she would ask it several different ways in an attempt to confuse you and trick you into answering what she wanted to hear.   If she did not receive the answer she was looking for she would get defensive and repeat the question again, only this time would either yell or speak in a condensing manner hoping that this would intimate me and force me into providing an answer she wanted. Since lawyer number three was from the same law firm as lawyer number 2, she was a replacement lawyer who was actually supervised by second lawyer in court during trial which discredited her expertise and lead everyone to believe she was not as experienced.

The third lawyer was the one on the case when I finally decided it was time to settle this case.  It was amazing to me that while we were negotiating a settlement she truly was also only worried about her own pocket and not the best interest of her client. It seemed as long as their legal bill was getting paid as part of the settlement she really had no interest in the other aspects of the agreement her client was signing.

In the end it was apparent that in reality, all lawyers are concerned with lining their own pocket and will do anything to collect a few extra dollars but there are lawyers that will represent your interests better than others.  Throughout my divorce it amazed me that no matter how bad or good a lawyer is they all seem to know how to prolong a case that has no winner and typically ends in a settlement.  In the end, this delay tactic is only helps the lawyer’s personal gain and has nothing to do with the best interest of the client.

The delay tactic is just another strategy used by divorced attorneys in order to allow enough time to exhaust both sides emotionally and financially so that you and your ex reach a final settlement agreement.  This is purely a lets make a deal and move on with our lives.   Remember in the eyes of the law you are merely a partnership that wants to separate and each person wants to be bought out, buy her out and move on with your life that is all you should be focusing on.

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