Taking a Step Forward…

There is only so long you can avoid invitations to weddings after the demise of your own marriage.  After my own marriage ended in a bitter divorce, how in world was I supposed to attend this bridal bash without choking on a big glass of cynicism? Knowing that approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce, it makes you wonder if people getting married and taking a vow to be there for each other no matter what – know what they are actually committing to.

A little over a year after my divorce was final, I accepted an invitation to a wedding.As I looked around the room, the first thing I noticed was how excited everyone to celebrate this young innocent couple committing to spend the rest of their lives together, but I couldn’t help but wonder do people getting married actually understand the depth of what they are committing to.

This was the first wedding ceremony I had attended that was not of religious affiliation and officiated by a Justice of the Peace. During the ceremony, I sat and really listened to what the Justice of the Peace was telling the couple.

Unlike the religious ceremonies I attended in the past, I realized that the focus of the ceremony was not about how love will get the couple through good and bad times but was actually about a union and being a partner to one another.  The Justice of the Peace explained to the couple that in order to have a strong, long lasting union, it is essential to truly understand what it means to be a partner to one another.  The Justice of the Peace explained, that each party pledges to support each other’s goals, failure and successes in life.

As I listened to the Justice of Peace, she reinforced what maybe no one truly understands about marriage until they get divorced, that marriage in its simplest form is similar to any business partnership.

The rules of marriage are pretty simple it’s an agreement to form a union between two parties.  When they say from this day forward, for better, or for worse they actually mean you are one unit in the eyes of the law and government. If one party wants to terminate the partnership, you will need to settle and have a judge sign off on your union to be dissolved.  Whether the Justice of Peace or a religious clergy member marries you, every wedding ceremony concludes with a similar statement, by the power vested in me by the state of.  State law not only holds the power when you form a union but also if you decide to terminate the union.

Navigating through the complexities of dissolving the partnership can become tricky especially when emotions are involved.  Until the deal is finalized you are still married to your spouse and the courts will look at the two parties involved as one.

The decision to terminate any partnership is not the end of the world and no matter what happens you will be ok.  The end result is always the same and you need to limit the damage. The easiest way to facilitate this is the same steps you would take to dissolve any partnership in business.  Hire a good accountant, and lawyer these people will help protect your interests during the process.  Try to keep an open mind to remember that this is purely a business negotiation and that you are here to settle and reach an agreement.

%d bloggers like this: