Never Say I Can’t

I have always had a problem with the word can’t. I can’t cook dinner or I can’t figure out how to fix a faucet or I can’t do laundry. As I went through the divorce process, like most of you I encountered various obstacles, which I was forced to overcome.

As my life changed, I now not only had to deal with finances and work but also daily household chores and caring for a child. Many people would offer their advice on how to do things. Although some advice was helpful there were many people who would simply tell me that I couldn’t do it.  I was told over and over again that handling everything on my own would be an insurmountable task.  People would tell me that I would not be able to work, maintain a home and care for my son on my days.  If you allow yourself to listen to this you will start to believe it, but remember you can do whatever you put in your mind to do.  If one person in the world did something another person can as well. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t.

As you begin to finalize the terms of your divorce, your emotions will begin to settle down and you will be able to clear your mind so that you can now deal with the responsibilities of your new life. Try to free your mind and body of all the tension and issues you experienced during your divorce.  It helped me to go for daily walks on the boardwalk or practice yoga. These activities gave me the time to take a deep breathe so that I could think about how I was going to deal with my new responsibilities.

After the expenses incurred during my divorce and the financial obligations mandated by the settlement agreement, money was tight. In addition to the economic strain caused by my divorce the economy in the industry I work in also weakened making it an impossible challenge to maintain the lifestyle I was accustomed to.

As with most things, when one thing goes awry it’s a domino effect.  All of a sudden things started to break in the place I was living in and since money was tight I couldn’t pay someone to do repairs and I couldn’t just say I can’t fix it. My only option was to learn how to fix it. The roof started to leak; I had to learn how to patch the roof and become a roofer.  The pipe was clogged; I had to learn how to clear the pipes and be the plumber.  My child needed dinner; I had to learn to cook healthy meals he would eat and be the chef.

As I adapted to my new lifestyle, I learned how to do these jobs and so many other tasks that I never thought I would ever be able to accomplish. As you can tell by my posts, as well as everything else I do, once I begin a project I don’t stop until I succeed.

Now that you are beginning your new life, do not be overwhelmed.  I want you to remember one thing, you will not have an issue in life that can’t be fixed or dealt with.  If you have no extra money to spend on fixing something it’s not the end of the world. Spend time on learning how to fix it yourself.

The more time you spend on something the better the outcome will be.  The more times you do something the better your skill will get.  If you can’t figure it out, email me at I’ll be happy to help – we can figure it out together.