It’s a whole new game – Pick your battles

Whether you are in the middle of the divorce process or finally finished, everything you thought you knew about how to resolve issues with your ex-spouse involving the children you have together changed as soon as you began the divorce process. When we first got married and decided to have a child together, decisions that impacted the well being of our child were usually made together however, after divorce this is no longer true and typically the custodial parent holds all the cards when it comes to the final say even if… Read More

One Woman, One Divorce, Three Lawyers

Divorce can make even the most rational person act irrational. You may go into your divorce thinking that you and your spouse can keep things reasonable and amicable. It might only take a few days, weeks or months to realize this may not happen. Don’t be shocked if you have to deal with some “unreasonable behavior” from your spouse, this is a divorce after all. Typically when soon to be ex-spouses become unreasonable with each other, divorce attorneys must step in to play referee.  Each side will typically rely on their attorney… Read More

The Unwritten Rules of Divorce Court

Navigating through divorce can be very difficult.  You can expect to experience a range of emotions while dealing with the continued conflict with your soon to be ex spouse. But what you may not expect to fall victim to the unwritten rules that govern divorce court. These “unwritten rules,” are the rules that define how judges and lawyers conduct themselves when working with each other. These unwritten rules will have more to do with the outcome of a divorce case than the written rules.   Rule 1: Judges and Lawyers are on the same team In… Read More

Using the Court as a Sword and not a Shield

The tensions between you and your soon to be ex-spouse are very high and it will only take a small spark to light the fireworks while you are in the middle of the divorce process. Couples going through divorce are enraged, hurt, scared, they want to put each other through the ringer, and at times will use the court as a sword and not a shield. Her lawyers will do anything possible to discredit you so don’t let them.  They will exaggerate the truth and use aggressive tactics and may even go… Read More

Lessons Learned

During the divorce process, mistakes are inevitable, especially when you let your emotions take control and cloud your vision. Unless you and your soon to be ex-spouse reach an agreement to settle, your case and the outcome of your divorce is governed by one person and one person alone… the judge. There is no divorce by jury, or a pool of your peers, the judge assigned to your case has the ultimate control. Even if you do end up settling, which most cases do, you likely will appear before a judge more… Read More

No one wins in Divorce Court

The problems caused by the actual divorce process become something bigger then the issues you and her ever had with each other. In the short term getting divorced will likely cost you more money than it would take to stay married and in some cases the divorce process from start to finish make take longer than the length of your marriage. The actual length of my marriage lasted almost 7 years before we finally called it quits, however, in my view my marriage was over long before than. Due to circumstances that… Read More

Divorce Court – A Biased System

The world has changed, but the divorce courts have lagged behind. In a fair and equitable system assets would be divided so that each parent can afford to provide for the children in the same manner.  Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case and in most circumstances the system will favor the woman and disproportionately, harms men. Divorce Court has not caught up to modern day society.  Decades ago, family structures were such that most men went to work and most women tended the home, partly because open discrimination against women in the… Read More

A Broken System

This country is built on the premise of justice for all – but unfortunately this does not hold true when it comes to divorce court – the system is broken. The Scales of Justice in divorce and custody ordeals are unbalanced.The sad reality is that divorce court and the entire system is nothing more than big business. Don’t be fooled into thinking otherwise, the divorce business is nothing more than a revenue generator for everyone involved but you. Every year in the United States, there are one million divorces, that’s approximately one divorce… Read More

Three Judges: The Bad, The Fair and The Biased

The beginning of any end never comes easy it is a hard process. A marriage in the eyes of the court is simply a union or a partnership.  When you are in a partnership both sides are equal to the whole and now the whole that wants to be split into two “equal” parts even if one side may have contributed more.  The bottom line is now the court has a job to do and its only goal is to split it into two pieces. The moment in time when the petition… Read More

When is it time to Stop and Settle

That question definitely takes the cake in my opinion. You have been fighting for months; maybe even years and all of a sudden you wake up one morning and decide the fight isn’t worth it anymore. The day that I decided that I was going to throw in the towel and settle, I didn’t plan on calling it quits.  It just wasn’t fun to spend all my time fighting and playing the game anymore and actually no one else wanted to play anymore either. We spent the last three years in and… Read More