Life Moves on…

The adrenaline rush is over; the courtroom, daily fight and the ex are all gone.  The lawyers have even stopped billing and now you begin to wonder what to do next. As time passes you begin to adjust to your new “normal” –  the monthly payments due to your ex, her new complaints and even threats become just a part of your daily routine. Life keeps moving on and before you know it’s a year later and in some ways things have changed and in other ways you may still feel as… Read More

Never Say I Can’t

I have always had a problem with the word can’t. I can’t cook dinner or I can’t figure out how to fix a faucet or I can’t do laundry. As I went through the divorce process, like most of you I encountered various obstacles, which I was forced to overcome. As my life changed, I now not only had to deal with finances and work but also daily household chores and caring for a child. Many people would offer their advice on how to do things. Although some advice was helpful there were… Read More

Taking a Step Forward…

There is only so long you can avoid invitations to weddings after the demise of your own marriage.  After my own marriage ended in a bitter divorce, how in world was I supposed to attend this bridal bash without choking on a big glass of cynicism? Knowing that approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce, it makes you wonder if people getting married and taking a vow to be there for each other no matter what – know what they are actually committing to. A little over a year after my divorce… Read More

It’s a whole new game – Pick your battles

Whether you are in the middle of the divorce process or finally finished, everything you thought you knew about how to resolve issues with your ex-spouse involving the children you have together changed as soon as you began the divorce process. When we first got married and decided to have a child together, decisions that impacted the well being of our child were usually made together however, after divorce this is no longer true and typically the custodial parent holds all the cards when it comes to the final say even if… Read More

One Woman, One Divorce, Three Lawyers

Divorce can make even the most rational person act irrational. You may go into your divorce thinking that you and your spouse can keep things reasonable and amicable. It might only take a few days, weeks or months to realize this may not happen. Don’t be shocked if you have to deal with some “unreasonable behavior” from your spouse, this is a divorce after all. Typically when soon to be ex-spouses become unreasonable with each other, divorce attorneys must step in to play referee.  Each side will typically rely on their attorney… Read More

The Unwritten Rules of Divorce Court

Navigating through divorce can be very difficult.  You can expect to experience a range of emotions while dealing with the continued conflict with your soon to be ex spouse. But what you may not expect to fall victim to the unwritten rules that govern divorce court. These “unwritten rules,” are the rules that define how judges and lawyers conduct themselves when working with each other. These unwritten rules will have more to do with the outcome of a divorce case than the written rules.   Rule 1: Judges and Lawyers are on the same team In… Read More

Using the Court as a Sword and not a Shield

The tensions between you and your soon to be ex-spouse are very high and it will only take a small spark to light the fireworks while you are in the middle of the divorce process. Couples going through divorce are enraged, hurt, scared, they want to put each other through the ringer, and at times will use the court as a sword and not a shield. Her lawyers will do anything possible to discredit you so don’t let them.  They will exaggerate the truth and use aggressive tactics and may even go… Read More

Lessons Learned

During the divorce process, mistakes are inevitable, especially when you let your emotions take control and cloud your vision. Unless you and your soon to be ex-spouse reach an agreement to settle, your case and the outcome of your divorce is governed by one person and one person alone… the judge. There is no divorce by jury, or a pool of your peers, the judge assigned to your case has the ultimate control. Even if you do end up settling, which most cases do, you likely will appear before a judge more… Read More

No one wins in Divorce Court

The problems caused by the actual divorce process become something bigger then the issues you and her ever had with each other. In the short term getting divorced will likely cost you more money than it would take to stay married and in some cases the divorce process from start to finish make take longer than the length of your marriage. The actual length of my marriage lasted almost 7 years before we finally called it quits, however, in my view my marriage was over long before than. Due to circumstances that… Read More

Divorce Court – A Biased System

The world has changed, but the divorce courts have lagged behind. In a fair and equitable system assets would be divided so that each parent can afford to provide for the children in the same manner.  Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case and in most circumstances the system will favor the woman and disproportionately, harms men. Divorce Court has not caught up to modern day society.  Decades ago, family structures were such that most men went to work and most women tended the home, partly because open discrimination against women in the… Read More